Your in-laws are important part of your relationships. It is important to maintain healthy relationship with your in-laws to live life with harmony. However, it is not as easy to do as it is said. The environment and culture of a new family is usually different from the environment where you were born and brought up and it takes time to get adapted to it.
Working with your spouse is the key to maintain harmony in a family. It is important to express your emotions to your spouse and find solutions to resolve problems together. It is the most crucial to win each other’s heart for happily married life.
There are times when you don’t want to do something. It is advisable to politely respond to your in-laws, instead of just ignoring them. Listening is different from responding. Ignorance may create conflicts but listening and responding wisely will be helping.
Even if you and your spouse belong to same religion, the family culture, environment and daily living style of new family will surely be different. In Indian marriages, a woman usually lives with his husband and in-laws after marriage. You need to put yourself into other’s shoes. For instance, if your husband would have been living at your home, even then it would have been not an easy task for him to adapt to the new environment. Similarly, husband must understand that his wife has been brought up in a different environment and it will take time to settle down in new family.
You must try the best of your efforts to avoid the third party in your family dispute and communication. For instance, if your sister in law has hurt you, instead of calling your own mother and giving her details of the family matters, you should talk to your sister-in-law directly. Similarly, if your wife is doing something wrong, you should communicate with her to resolve the issue instead of calling her parents. If you are married, you must be mature enough to handle it.
It is important to keep one thing in mind that your in-laws won’t love you like your parents. You have to accept the fact that your in-laws aren’t your parents and won’t follow the same rules. There are always expectations more than emotions and you will have to learn to deal with it. It doesn’t mean that they will never love you. But, it just mean that it takes time to develop emotional connection with new family members and you must not expect same love and pampering from parents-in-laws as you expect from your parents.
Even if it is tough and you have to grit your teeth to show love and affection, you will have to say kind words to maintain peaceful environment in a home. And if you find it difficult to say anything nice, it is better to shut up and smile.