Did you cry again today and it hurts? You have been suffering in your marriage….

 

March 21, 2016

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The society has changed, however many women still live and suffer in their marriages for the sake of society, children, financial and emotional dependence. It’s a daily struggle right from waking up till the time they sleep. Many work and many don’t, many want to work but not allowed to work. Many leave the opportunity to work to take care of the children and family and leaving behind their dreams and careers.

India still has above 50% arranged marriages, in tier 2 and tier 3 cities it can go as high as 90%, which means you don’t even know the individual personally before you actually get married. Basic qualifications like family background, own house, salary of the person, good looks are considered. If you like the person in first look, it’s done. Many times it’s only the parents who take the decision. And everything is left on girl’s destiny, if the guy is good she will be happy if he is not she will suffer for rest of her life.

Divorce is still a curse word, it’s a big step to even think. Many women gear themselves observing their own mothers, and women in the family. They are trained to accept things as it comes. Suffering is always there even if women try to stand up for her choices or quietly accepts. Typically, it takes 7-10 years for a women to settle in the house and get things with her own choice – be it what needs to be cooked, household expenditure, kid related decisions and so on. I know many of them, who have completely left their parents, talk to them in secrecy and doesn’t even visit their families as their husbands doesn’t like it. One woman has been married for 25 years and she can still be slapped for anything her husband doesn’t approve of.

We talk about women liberation and respect for women but nothing will work if we don’t teach our daughters or rather show them how they should take care of themselves and respect their choices. I have given reference of middle classes here and the problem is hugely grave in low income groups and even high income groups. Today’s children still observe their fathers ordering mothers, they see how their mothers are constantly either doing or supervising households, they observe how responsibilities are divided, and followed with arguments or fights if either of them fail to do anything.

Be careful, your sons and daughters are watching. They are building their own references, and in their mind building this divide, which will not lead to anything but continued sufferings, issues and pain.

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